Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Before and After (symptoms)

So today a couple of my Cushie friends asked me to send them my symptoms list that I had when I first was having problems. While rereading it to send to them because its been almost a year now (four months post op though) I noticed that WOW things have changed! I am hoping this will give someone hope! But this is my symptoms and in parenthesis is what it is like now after 4 months post op.


  • Inability to lose weight no matter diet or exercise (able to lose weight now)
  • Central Obesity (stomach 2 inches smaller) 
  • Weight Gain 47 pounds in 6 months 80 pounds in one year (lost 23 pounds)
  • Insomnia only sleeping 2-3 hours a night (restful sleep 8 plus hours)
  • Buffalo Hump (yep its getting smaller)
  • Moon Face (double chin getting smaller and can see cheek bones)
  • Hot all the time even in a cold room (now I sleep under the blankets instead of on top)
  • Thinning hair especially around my bangs area (new whispies appearing!)
  • Red, Flushed Face (no more hot flashes)
  • Heart Palpitations almost every night 120s (Heart rate is at normal level 60-80s)
  • Blood Pressure on daily basis 160/110 (Now 123/80s)
  • Not much of a Libido (Yeah for my husband its back)
  • Stretch marks all over stomach and corners of breasts red and thick (starting to fade color)
  • Low immune system. Bronchitis 6 times and walking pneumonia in 8 months (bronchitis one time in 4 months)
  • Loss of words and work call (less and less but still have short term memory problems)
  • Anxiety every night and out the roof (Anxiety only when actually called for)
  • Mood Swings. (Husband said those are WAY less :)
  • Weakening of Muscles Before Surgery could only lift 10-15lbs (lifting 30-45 pounds now)
  • Fatigue just had no git up and go (still tired but it is better and I am doing a lot more)
  • Whiskers popping up on chin (same)
  • Bruising without even noticing I was bumping into anything (no bruising)
  • Thinning skin, hurts to touch sometimes (seems to be toughening up because doesn't hurt as much)
  • Major Aches and Pains (minor aches and pains except when hip goes out)
  • Very slow healing with cuts or bug bites (faster healing but still slower than normal)
  • Concentration is VERY weak (able to start and finish tasks with no problem)
  • Depression and don't have a reason why really (feeling much better)

So in 4 months there has been so much change! Amazing because I realized it but didn't realize it as much until I saw my personal symptoms list. There really can be a light at the end of the tunnel with remission. Not everyone will have the same effects. Some more and some less but it does get better! If you are not there yet please feel free to always email me at cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com and lets help you find drs or help or support. I am not a DR by any means but I am willing to help you find support. If you are in remission and would like to share your story please email me also. We are working on a website of cushingstories where all stages of the disease are addressed through personal journeys.

Sunday, December 7, 2014

RIP :(

As I look at this blank page with so much on my heart I want to say its hard for me to know where to start.

First I will say that this week my friend was driving to school in our truck and went off the road, rolled numerous times and went straight to God to be with him in his glory. Now I want to talk about all the good!
Debbie and Cameron


 My friend Debbie Card. She was a single woman living on her own at a ranch  with the world at her feet. She was the Secretary of our school here in Big Valley. Big Valley really isn't big though. Its formed of a couple of towns but each town only has about 250 ppl in it. So with that many people you can be sure that she made each and every person smile! So within the two years we have lived in Big Valley I had gotten to know my friend by volunteering at the school. She was so funny because she was like me....she would talk and talk and talk. The thing that was cool about her though is she had a small accent and would always say words like "wee little one" that would crack me up. After about a year of knowing her, her always being so gracious to everyone,(even our family) we heard she needed to move. She had this giant dog named Finnegan and the neighbor dogs would make her dog bark all day long. We happened to have a house for rent. I was worried she wouldn't want it because although it was a 3 bedroom it was on 3000 acres and she was a single woman. She made it very clear to me that her dog and her would love to have that "majestic beauty" around them and she was a "rather big girl who could handle it".

After she moved in we became even closer friends. Not because she was renting from us but because she was fun to be around and also because we moved next door 400 acres away.

What can I say about my friend? So much. To type it ALL out would be so hard. I will share some of my memories that I have of her. Memories that are just ours and will always be in my head. First because we lived close every time one of us was sick with a cold we would have the kids drive from one place to the other offering homemade chicken noodle soup or gumbo. Debbie always made everyone feel like they were kings or queens. She would rave about my cooking and let me tell you its totally just normal cooking. She always was so positive!! Always. Even when she was sick she would laugh when I would come in my pjs telling me that "man I was a super star dresser lol". We laughed a lot. I wish I would of spend more and more time sitting and drinking tea. I regret the fact that I felt my life was so busy with four teens that I didn't take more time out of my day to visit with her. Debbie was a hard worker. I remember worrying because I didn't see her home so I would call her. She was still at the school at 800 at night saying she was just trying to finish up with stuff.  She loved animals so much. She watched our house so we could go to the kids Championship game and send me a text every 4 hours to give me an update on our dogs:) She was an amazing artist too. We took a art class at the school together. Don't laugh now but we were the only adults there. I went at first just to be able to spend more time with my daughter but Cassie being a teen I ended up sitting by Debbie. I think we got in trouble for talking more than the teens did ha! I would text her my newest painting (mind you I have never painted before) and she would always tell me how wonderful I was. Her kitchen was full of awesome art supplies and she had an art room. Told me to come over and lets play art together anytime. I said whenever you want me to come to call and I will be there. She told me if I was going to be stuffy then she will make me a gold plated invitation to her house. She made me laugh. Did I say she didn't have a mean bone in her body? She used to crack me up so much. I always told her how beautiful she was and how I wish I could steal her skin. Did I say she gave the best hugs too? And since I am babbling and not doing this in any order because I just want to get my feelings out...I remember when she had one of the kids over to her house. She was watching him till he was able to go home, he had just been at our house. We were all trying to help his parents out. Well I had two kittens that this little boy didn't want to leave. So we took them to Debbies with us. Well lets just say after the little boy went home, she wouldn't let the kittens go back to our house. She was a lover of animals. When I first met her she had Rosie her Saint Bernard.
Debbie and Rosie as a pup
Rosie passed and then she got Finnegan. Finnegan oh Finnegan he is a huge and I do mean huge pup that is a scardy cat of everything. We used to laugh at that. Finnegan did go straight to me which was always surprised at. I saved that dog so many times because I didn't want to have to call Debbie and tell her that Finn was missing or on the highway (he can run a long ways when he would follow her when she left)or worse that she didn't have him anymore. I didn't want to have HER heart broken.
Big Ol Pup Finn
Debbie was an amazing person who loved art, people, animals and was a chatty gal who always was humming:) She loved her sons beyond all things. Its funny when you have never met the kids of your friend because they are grown and live far away but you feel like you know them.  I will miss her so much. I feel the first thing she felt in heaven was a hug from her son Collin and her dog Rosie. I am so thankful that she was able to see her other son a couple weeks before. You just never know but she always made away to go see him no matter what.

Now we have Finnegan and those two pesky cats. I swear Finn is sad like me and misses her. We have cried a lot together. I think that Finn knows how I feel and I know how he feels. Mind you we have 4 dogs already but I feel like a piece of Debbie is with me right now. I miss her. He misses her.
We all miss her. This week was a very tragic week. As all of you know I am recovered from Cushings but cannot deal with stress a lot yet. If I have too much stress or get sick with an illness I go into Adrenal Insufficiency and in the 4 months I have been "in remission" I have been in the ER three times. Its been such a hard week and everyday I have had to stress dose a lot on cortisol.  Why am I telling you this? Because...

I am alive. I am able to be happy or sad or mad or angry or blissful or full of hope or full of life. My friend Debbie is not. With all the stuff I complain about in my life through sickness I have to remember that I am STILL HERE. Debbie is teaching me even though she is not here on earth anymore. She made such a mark in my life in the last two years and never once said something negative. Do you think she didn't have problems? She did. Do you think she didn't have illness or heartache or even bad days? She did. She had many days of wondering. Days of depression of missing her son who was in heaven. Days were she was sad or mad.  Everyone does because we are human. Debbie CHOSE to live her life, to be positive and to LOVE. She complimented every person she met. She made you FEEL like you were apart of her family since day one. She would tell me that I was in her "inner circle" which made me feel so good. She always made everyone feel good!  She was amazing. When people pass we try to remember the good and not the bad things about them. With Debbie....there WAS only good! May she rest in peace. Its hard for me to say it was in Gods timing but to me it really is. She is dancing with her other son now and I know she is looking down at her other son, watching him and is going to help him be ok.

Say your I love you's, compliment people, make them feel good about themselves, help others, love others, love animals, be compassionate, work hard, think outside the box, play, do art, be creative, always be helpful.......................that is what I have learned more from my friend. I just wish I would of learned this lesson more so before she passed than after. I love you Debbie! Your spirit will go on. Finn and I are going to keep talking to each other till we heal, but we know you are wrapped in Gods tender arms. I love you! Thank you for being you! Thank you! Finn and I will continue to talk about you and I promise you that we will make sure that he is ok! We love you.
Long weekend and not going to leave each other sides