Tapering Steroids = SLOWLY...My Dog Has Diabetes

Hi guys Van here, I wanted to just give a little update on my status. So Weaning off the steroids is a pretty challenging job. Post surgery I was on 30mg and at first I was scared to take the hydrocortisone because after being inflicted with Cushing's, who would ever want to take more steroids? Curious to see if I really needed the steroids, I decided to jump from 30mg to 10mg and in two days I thought I was dying. Well, I learned the hard way like most cushies who are impatient and stubborn that without taking the correct dosage, you will feel like shit. So I would talk to other cushies and see that slow is the way to go when it comes to weaning. I decided every month to go down 2mg and it was working fine until I reached 15mg. I have been on 15mg for about 5 months and it was so hard for me to wean any lower. I would get nauseous, faint, and blue in the face. I felt like crying every minute of my day. My stomache turns inside out and my body starts to tremble and shudder like it's involuntarily crying.

 I get mad sometimes that it's been a year and my remaining adrenal gland has not started waking up yet. I notice that it seems to take longer for the younger cushies to wean and recover, that is strange since we are younger and we seem to bounce back faster. But from experience, most of the patients I talk to, I notice that the younger ones always take over a year to fully recover. So I must take that into consideration and not blame myself for my slow weaning. I also read in most blogs and patient stories that they try to do very small increments and taper slowly since it feels better.  I still don't know how some women can wean off after just 6 months or so but more power to ya! Ever since the trip to New Jersey I decided to taper a bit more. So I tried 12mg every other day and 15 mg ever other day. So far it was okay. I would say I have mild nausea and sometimes feel sick to my stomach but I have not have any trembling and fainting. After two weeks I decided to try 12mg everyday and now my nausea has increased and my head feels heavy. I do notice I am sleeping for longer periods of time but my sleep cycle is still messed up. Oh yeah I finally got a period!! After 3 months of my period disappearing again, that makes me so happy! A good plus is that I notice my chin is looking more defined the more I wean and I see my face looking more lifted. My mom told me the other day that I look younger like I was back in highschool YAY! I still don't feel young inside but it's good to hear from someone who knows how I use to look like to compliment me.

My period app taken a few weeks ago :)

 The other day I forgot my pills at home when I went out so I found some rogue pills in my bag that added up to 10mg. I took it anyway but like clock work the next two days, I felt so crappy. So, I think I will stay on 12mg for another few weeks then I will try the 12/10mg alternation. Slow is the way to go guys! Everybody is different, and eventually you will wean off fully. But do what makes you feel like you can to function daily so you can atleast enjoy your recovery and not be miserable during your adrenal insufficiency period.

So Rae told me she has diabetes insipidus, which is a condition which causes excessive thirst and urination due to hormone and kidney production problems. I immediately recognize this condition because sadly, my dog named Vankey a little corgi-jack has the same problem. He was diagnosed 5 years ago and at first we noticed all he did was drink his little doggie water bowl until it was gone then he would pee all over the carpet even though he was potty trained, he just couldn't hold it in. Once he peed everything out, he would start drinking more water until he was bloated like a balloon and urinate again. It was so sad because when I withheld water from him, he would whimper and shake and when I gave him water, he looked like he was about to burst. At first we didn't know what to do with him and thought he was just thirsty but we took him to the vet and the vet could not figure out what was wrong with him. After a few weeks we took him to another vet and described his symptoms and the vet immediately diagnosed him with DI. He then gave us some eyedrops to give to Vankey every day for the rest of his life. It's kind of crazy to think that my puppy and I got sick around the same time. And the amazing thing is that he was extra supportive and loving when I was sick. He usually has no energy and keeps to himself but whenever I felt sick, he would always be at my side. How strange that Cushing's is common in dogs and so is diabetes insipidus but we cushies may have to deal with the two. I know another cushie friend of mine who was diagnosed with DI a few months ago too. But to think that animals suffer as much as we do when they get sick, yet are so strong makes me feel inspired of their strength and capacity to love.

Anytime you need a friend Rae, Vankey is here >.^

Early Cushings and DI

We get eachother <3

3 months post op!

I am three months post op today! I cant believe its been 3 months already. So much has changed in just three months from having my pituitary surgery at MDAnderson in Houston TX. This is me now!

3 months post op today!

Ok, Ok so we all know how to make a camera make us look better right? Especially us Cushies we have learned to take pictures from higher up to make ourselves look thinner lol. Heck my husband even knows the drill:) Ok so this is the real me.....

3 months post op and straight on pic

In the three months since my surgery so much has gotten better! I really wanted to write a blog about what has been happening! I am feeling very blessed for sure! Lets start off with one that I have a pic for....My hair is starting to grow back. It is really thin and I have had to cut it pretty short to make it look like it has some style. I am pretty excited because I have new hair growth and whispies now. Check it out...!

This makes me pretty excited!!! In three months also I have lost 23-24 pounds. I honestly thought that weight would just FALL off of me which it hasn't. I haven't been dieting or changing anything so I am pretty happy about that weight loss. I think I am gaining muscle too so that I am sure will change my body and maybe not the scale. Good thing though is.....I know if I do choose to diet that I WILL lose weight this time. I had dieted many times and I would literally gain weight. It was frustrating so now I am really trying to get back into even wanting to diet. What else has happened in three months. I am now sleeping. I wasn't sleeping but a couple hours a night IF that. Now I sleep (if I don't have to get up to take kids to school etc) easily 8-10 hours in a row! THIS MY FRIENDS IS HUGE! My anxiety has gone down. I have no depression anymore at all. I feel like I am becoming myself again. Calmer. Fun to be around. Happier. I have stopped bruising so much and my skin doesn't hurt to touch it as much. Brain fog.....GONE!! I have trouble still with my short term memory but I even think that is getting better. My buffalo hump is going down a little also.....

before surgery buffalo hump

3 months post op buffalo hump some improvement

I am sure it will take some time for it to go away but I can see the small improvement! I have a long ways to go on recovering but that fact that I can SEE changes and FEEL changes are so nice. The best one for me is I am not antsy all the time and tapping my foot. I can stand still if I wanted:) I still kinda sway when I am standing but that is just because my hip still hurts. My blood pressure went from HIGH to now NORMAL! I didn't get diabetes or osteoporosis but I did end up with degenerate bone disease. My eyes seem brighter too. I dont know if that is a Cushings thing or not but they seem bigger and brighter to me. A lot of good has happened and symptoms are reversing themselves.

I still am not perfectly healed by all means. Although my muscle strength is coming back slow but sure...I have a hard time keeping my arms above my head for any length of time and a hard time getting up from the floor or even my chair. Just today I was helping in a friends classroom and couldn't do some of the stuff. I kinda felt stupid for saying "hey I cant do that" but I had to and just know it will continue to get better. I have short term memory loss and still have a hard time remembering some things. I have my words back though. Before surgery I would be trying to say "Can you pass the plate?". I couldn't remember the word "plate" though. I would end up frustrated and trying to describe it (you know that round thing that you put food on and we use it for dinner). Now I have my words back and its very nice. That is one of the first things I noticed, besides that I could dream again because I had sleep. I still am a long way from being and looking like the RAE that I once knew. I am getting there though and each little baby step helps me to seeing ME again. This might be my new normal but I can take that for sure! I have many blessings.....and I hope if you are not in remission yet that you will have all those blessings and more VERY SOON!

Please feel free to email me at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com
Also check me out on Facebook at LaRae Jones-Collins or look up our group called "Cushings!!" on Facebook.

Pituitary Surgery for my friend, and remembering mine.

My good friend Heather is going into her pituitary surgery tomorrow morning. I have all this excitement for her because I know what can happen, the changes that can happen for the better, once the tumor is out. I had pituitary surgery 3 months ago with the same Neurosurgeon at the same hospital. I am so proud of her and how far she has come and how hard she fought listening to her body. Thinking back about the surgery it really does amaze me how they go up the nose to get a brain tumor out. Although I am sure she is scared of pain or of complications or whatever thoughts may run through her head....I try to keep it positive because it IS! This surgery changed my life. It made me go into remission. Did the first couple days suck because of nose packing's? Well yes....BUT it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought and was so manageable with a little pain medication.

hour before surgery

My life changed that day and I am hoping for my friend her life changes tomorrow for the better. We both know some ppl who have had more than one surgery BUT we know SO many more than have only had one. Either way, whatever happen, I am going to be there for my friend. We met through a Cushings website. Its interesting how you connect to someone you haven't met in real life. We talk about it all....even our kids, normal lives, daily frustrations or joys. This disease may be debilitating and suck (sorry but it can) but its amazing the blessings that come with it too. So many blessings like finding good friends!! 

Tomorrow she wont be feeling the best but I have shown her my picture collage which I hope helps her and others. Because you see how fast you go through it. Heck I am 3 months post op and no one in my town can tell I ever had brain surgery. This can be a good and bad thing. Good we don't have the scars and shaven heads but bad because well you don't LOOK like you had it so ppl don't know. It is BRAIN SURGERY so you do have to take it easy for a long time. Recovery is key

After surgery

Nose packing, its out day 2-3 though

After just a couple days her nose packing will be out and it will be a breath of fresh air. It will be such a relief. Hopefully by this time she has crashed. Not crashing like not breathing and heart stopping (nurses say this is crashing). BUT Cushings Crashing! Which is when your cortisol levels plummet. It will make her feel like crap, but this is a crap we want her to feel like........................it means remission.........! I was lucky enough to crash on my first surgery. I felt like crap but let me tell you it was the best feeling in the world because I knew what it meant. Tomorrow I am sending her flowers. And as my BFF did to me the card will write "I hope you feel like crap. xoxo". 

packing out!!!

great support from hubby

 I pray for her that her surgery goes well. I pray she finally sleeps. I pray she feels like crap because her cortisol crashes. I pray that she is not scared but hopeful. I pray that she feels a difference in her symptoms as soon as a week even. I pray her brain fog leaves. I pray her family lets her rest and that her support system understands its going to take months to recover if not a year. I pray its speedy for her. I pray she goes in tomorrow morning calm because this is something she wants. I pray most for remission that never leads to another tumor. I pray....I pray....I pray for all those things that I wanted for myself and for all the things I want for all the cushies I know. And if this doesn't happen (which i think it will) I pray she knows that we are all here for her. That its okay and we will be there everyday after that to get her back in for another surgery. I feel in my bones though that she will go into remission.

two weeks later

less than a month out from surgery

Remission is still a long journey but its the uphill side of things! Its that light at the end of the tunnel. We aren't all better just because the tumor is out. Slowly though we will get better, start to see the glimpses of our old selves. Its a magical moment when those things happen, when we see the difference. And remember Heather that when you are in remission that you will still doubt and worry because you never want to go back BUT as I had to learn...........YOU ARE IN REMISSION TILL YOUR NOT!!!!  Go get em girl!!!

No sleep to SO much sleep

As many of you know who have followed my journey I have had Cushings about four plus years. When I look back at say four years ago...I would sleep good, maybe even great for three weeks out of the month. Then I wouldn't sleep well for about a week. This would go on and off for years. I just thought It was because I tend to over think things. WHAT??? a Cushie overthink something? NEVER! See I have noticed that in a lot of the Cushies I have talked to over the year I have been really online talking to my new friends that so many of us worry more than most.....even obsess.

Even our puppy slept all the time

Overtime I started to have shorter cycles and would sleep great for two weeks and then not sleep for two weeks. Just always chalked it up to having things on my mind or things going on in my life. Really that was true though. I would notice that a troubled time (something small like how am I going to get two kids to two games at the same time but other end of town) would keep me up like what I thought a "normal" person would do because they were just over-thinking something. I figured out later looking back though that it really was the stress of something that would push me to be more in a high state (cortisol). Sleep aids didn't work, natural or pharmaceutical. I tried counting sheep,

Plenty of sheep to count at our house

I tried taking hot baths and having decaf hot tea before bed. I tried so many things. Sleep just wouldn't come. I still had to function the next day with my kids and get them to where they needed to be and do what I needed to do. Even work. 

By the last couple months before my surgery however....I had more sleepless nights than nights that I would sleep. I think I had about 3 weeks of only sleeping 2 hours a night. I would be so frustrated. I would search to the end of the internet and back. Finally some nights my legs would be so antsy or I would look at my husband snoring and want to scream (ha) that I would just get out of bed and go clean or something.

Hubby going to sleep. Comfy bed why couldn't I sleep?

I couldn't wait for the one week that I would sleep. I know that depression and anxiety are a huge part of cushings. I thought though how could anyone not be tired, cranky or anxious when they only had 8 hours a sleep in the whole week. I had to keep functioning though for my kids, my husband and for me really. 

Then I had surgery July 2014 and WHAM! I COULD sleep!!! Amazing deep sleep!!!!! I EVEN dreamt! VIVID crazy cool dreams. I hadn't dreamt in so long because I never had a deep enough sleep! I am blessed to be able to sleep. I want to sleep all night and day if I could. Of course I don't. I probably go to bed around 10 or 11 just because I want a little quiet time once the kids are in bed to relax. I get up at 6am to get the kids up and get them out the door. If I don't have something to do that morning though....I go back to sleep till about 930. If I wasn't busy I probably could even take a nap each day. Its a rare occurrence though but when I get to its sooooooo nice. 

I often wonder when I will be able to be normal again. Not too much sleep or not enough sleep. I kinda feel like Goldie Locks trying out the beds. This one is too hard. This one is too soft. This one is JUST right! :) I just have to continue to feel blessed that I am on the uphill side of things. I AM sleeping and CAN sleep and I will always remember that feeling when I couldn't. I have to continue to remember I am in recovery and to not feel bad when I want to sleep. Often I get phone calls in the morning. I am awake but I don't think my brain is yet lol. I always pray I don't sound grouchy or like I just woke up when I didn't. I am just hoping that my friends and family understand. I am still recovering.......and one day I will sleep like a normal person.....whatever that maybe! :) 

Please feel free to email me anytime at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com
I also have a Facebook group called "Cushings!!" 
And always check out my co bloggers blog at onedelicateheart.blogspot.com

Night all......going to sleep :)

Yes I am a Cushie Mom

 

Christmas 2012

I am a mom of four teenagers and I am a Cushings Mom. I don't know which one is more exciting to read about so I will write about both :) I have a blended family which makes it so our teenagers are very close in age.We have been a family for almost 7 years now and I am very blessed that they get along so well!! Jackson is my oldest, 9 months later is Cassie, 18 months later is Joshua and then only 2 months later is Jason. They are my world! I joke with ppl in our community however  that next year I am moving to India so my husband will be left home with a 9,10,11, and 12 grader:) With being in a very small community you become very active in their school lives. Just today I have a football game to go to for two of them, a bake sale for one of them and a dinner to serve for another one of them. Its a busy busy life.

Josh & Jackson playing football

200 cupcakes made for a game

I have always been a very busy person who wanted to volunteer and help in anyway I could at the kids schools or for their sports or clubs. But the year before I had my surgery was VERY tough. It was hard to do any of that and I started to stay in more and more. I never knew when I would be sick. I started to feel like someone who would sign up for something to help and then feel like a flake because that day I would feel horrible. I never knew when I would sleep or not sleep. I started to feel as if I was losing myself. The sad part was my kids started to notice too. I would still do their bake sale but I would go get pre made things. I would still attend their games but I was gone right after it was over and in so much pain from sitting. I did it because I loved them. I pushed myself to do it. I would go to a game though whether it was football, volleyball, basketball or baseball for them and it would take me days to recover from that. I was sore. I couldn't sleep. I had a hard time getting in and out of our truck. I felt like I was failing as a mother. I would cry at night to my husband how I had lost myself and how they are going to grow up just seeing someone who was sick. They were helping me out more than I was helping them I felt. It was hard.....really hard! I am not going to lie....I cried a lot about how I wanted to be a better mom, a stronger mom for them. Thats when my husband had to step in a lot and help me. He had to become my superman....

He had to work and sometimes come home and cook meals, drive the kids to school functions or just help with chores at our ranch. I went from cooking from scratch to doing more premade stuff. And guess what! That was okay. My kids still loved it, they still grew and they still had good meals. I had to learn that doing things in a simple way was ok to do! It was! I didnt have to be perfect!I just had to be there for my kids. Talk to them, love on them, be with them. We did more movie nights at home together with fresh popcorn and we did more game nights.  I was blessed they were teenagers and could comprehend more of what was going on. It had its positive points and its negatives. I think it scared them more because they are at the age where they could go and research on their own or worry because they heard the word "tumor". A hard moment in my life was when my daughter gave me a bday painting (4 months before my surgery) and on the back she wrote this....

 It says..."Dear Mother, I created this painting because of your influences. You are Gods child just like many people. this was made because you will always be protected and of course you will be painting in watercolors. I hope that every time you see this, you will be safe, happy, healthy, and just in a good mood! This paper is being watched over by many angels, one of them is your own beautiful mother. I HOPE that by the third time you read this to yourself, you will be cured of cushings. That disease is crucial to leave because you cant do many things because of it. i hope that you will live the life that you have always wanted and that it goes in your direction. And guess what? In the middle of this ninja our dog just threw up. Hope my day gets better as well! (this part cracked me up folks!). So I hope, want, you will become a beautiful person that you have always wanted to be. Okay, even though you already are beautiful inside and out! love Cassandra. always praying".  Now tell me that wouldn't make you cry! 

My kids are all crazy and like to have fun like me! I am now 2.5 months post op and am getting my life back slowly! I love to cook and bake and am back to doing that daily. Even started canning! I went from only being able to lift 10 pounds to lifting 30plus now. I am losing weight, I am in a MUCH better place attitude wise and WANT to be around ppl again! I had hope! I had to fight to get here but I did it! It was worth it to me! I am enjoying my kids more and more. Not that I ever really stopped, I just was in a different place. Even my kids notice the changes and Cassie knows her prayers were answered.Here are some fun pictures of us in the last couple weeks....Things can change! I am living proof! We just need to have a good support system out there and if you dont have one at home....you can find them online! There are great Cushings groups on Facebook....I even started one myself called "Cushings!!" And there are great sites like Cushings-help.com where you can find tons of resources. If you ever need someone to talk to even please feel free to email me at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com and I will always respond!

Jason and I

My daughter Cassie

Jackson going hunting

Joshua and I

How this blog came to be....

I thought it would be good to tell you how Van and I got together to do this blog and why it is so important to us:) This is my side of the story:) 

 I got an email from Novartis Pharmaceutical Corporation asking me to come to a conference in New Jersey. This meeting would be called Cushings Disease Online Influence Advisory Board meeting. I had to really think and pray about going to this as I was only 2 months post op when I received the email. After many phone conversations with Nicole Riley the Director of Public Relations I decided this was the experience I needed. I want to help other Cushies like myself and if I could help a company that has the means to help the masses.....I wanted to help them. 


2 weeks later I was on a plane from California to New Jersey with my best friend (cant really travel alone yet as I cant pick up my luggage lol and am only 2 months post op).

I left my husband to tend to our Four ...yes four teenagers. He was all for me going to find out information and to tell my story. Do you feel bad for him? hehe....P.s he did great as usual!

The first night there we were to have a dinner to get to know the other Cushies that were there and meet the staff of the Novartis group. I swear I was the last person to show up at the dinner and as I sat down..............there she was! :) It was Van!! I recognized her right away because when I first diagnosed I went crazy on You tube looking at before and afters and she was the first video I ever watched. She was like my lil rock star. I leaned over to my BFF and said..."I am going to tell her what she means to me". Later during dinner I had my chance. I spoke up (a lot because I am a talker) and told her how she influenced me so much and how I was so happy to meet her. From that moment on I knew we would be friends. **** I swear I am not a stalker hahaha****

The next day was the conference. We learned a lot. We learned about how to get our stories out there more and the facets that we could do. 7 Cushies and Novartis staff talked about how to get the general public to know more about this rare disease. We talked a little about our journeys. We talked about the drug Signifor that we learned was for those who couldnt have surgery or wanted to lower their cortisol until they could have surgery. It was nice to know their were more than one option. Especially for me because my tumors were so close to the carotid arteries the Dr's weren't sure we would be able to do the surgery. Most of all though we talked about being advocates, getting information out there. The right information. the other Cushies were amazing and I was so thrilled to meet them! Rachel Wilson and Mary O were some of the Cushies we met that are instrumental in Advocating Cushings as well!

Novartis Team and Cushings Patients 2014

Later that day Van and I were able to talk. We talked about how our symptoms were different, how our diagnosis went and how we are doing on remission. We talked about trials and tribulations. We talked about weening from cortisol after surgery. We talked about a lot. But mostly we talked about how we want to help others and how even if we just reach one person and are able to get them to diagnosis then we would be excited.

The conference ended. Novartis did an amazing job. Really helped us in knowing how to reach the public. Van was found through her other blog and I was found through my Youtube videos. We knew though that we could do more. I called Van when I got back to California. I am sure she thought I was crazy lol. Told her I thought it would be great to have a blog with the two of us because we have such different symptoms and journeys. I was afraid she would say no because I had never done a blog before. I told her to think about it and get back to me. It didnt take long! She is amazing and so sweet! The first text I got back was an idea on the name of the blog. Thats when 2cushiegirls began! All from a meeting of two ppl at a Cushings event. I cannot express how glad I am that I decided to go!

2cushiegirls

 Now you can find us through blogs (this one and Vans http://onedelicateheart.blogspot.com 
and my Facebook group cushingscountrygirl@groups.facebook.com. Dont forget we also have Youtube pages...Rae Collins and Onedelicateheart. Now we have also put ourselves out there on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Thank you to the Novartis Group for really helping us to want to help others using our own Journeys!! If you are a Cushie....we would love to hear your story also. Its all about getting our journeys knows and all about information so maybe we all can help just one person! 

Disclaimer: Novartis paid for our trip, meals and lodging while at the Conference.

#raredisease, #cushings, #novartis, #signafor, #2cushiegirls, #symptoms

 
 

Van and Rae Symptoms list

Van here guys, I made a picture comparison chart of Rae and my symptoms. As you can see our symptoms are quite different and also our appearance changes. My doctors told me that my acne is not normal because only pituitary patients get severe acne and I was adrenal however, Rae is a pituitary patient and she did not have the acne. Also I had the orange hands that was not listed as a symptom but I did read cushies can get this. Here is our the list we came up with. SORRY CLICK ON EACH PICTURE TO VIEW FULL SIZE.

My Cushings Journey

Oh where do I begin? Lets start with I didnt even know what Cushings was and lets back track to the beginning....

The day I got diagnosed was my 6th time in the Drs office for Bronchitis that year and I had had walking pneumonia also. I went in and cried to my DR that I am barely eating, gaining weight, I am not sleeping but 2 hours a night and that I feel like I am going crazy and depressed, my body hurts and I am bruising all the time. He looked at me and said, "You have Cushings I bet". I looked back at him and thought is this man crazy? What is Cushings? He looked at my neck and said I had a buffalo hump, looked at my stomach and saw my stretch marks (straie) and looked at my food log and saw I was only eating 1400 calories a day and had gained 80 pounds in 1.5 years and was still gaining. 

NOW LETS GO BACK...

I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago and felt like I had hormone imbalances every since. Actually I felt like I had them before that even, but I always decided that the weight gain, the hair on my chin, the loss of muscle, the bruising, was all because of hormones from the hysterotomy. WELL it WAS from the hormones but not from that. I went to DR after DR after DR and they said my estrogen, testosterone etc was fine. Or they would give me a pill for depression or more estrogen to cure my hot flashes, red face etc. The depression pills never worked for me. I even went to a Dr that gave me more estrogen to take and then had their clinical psychologist call me to see if I wanted to come in to see them and talk because I "had bruising, cried a lot, was 37 and must have a bad home life". That made me so mad!! I wasn't getting beat! I left that clinic and went to another one. It was just meant to be because thats when my MD said to me that I must have Cushings. Look at my Buffalo Hump....

After he said I needed to test he set me up for two tests. An 8am cortisol blood draw and a DEX test. One came back positive and one negative. Then my Dr said well maybe not. By this time I had looked up everything I could on Cushings and started researching. This is also where I saw my co bloggers Vans video on Cushings which to this day she is my rock-star! My Dr referred me to two endocrinologists and they both turned me down. I researched Cushings specialists and decided to go to who I thought was the top endocrinologist at the time Dr. Friedman. He listened to me. I tested a lot!! Tested wrong at first even. Tested when I felt bad and I should of been testing when I felt good (on a high). So at first some of my tests were coming back normal because I would cycle. After learning more and figuring out my symptoms and when to test....they started coming back high, high and high. I went in for a MRI and they saw something that COULD be an tumor. I was scared and relieved at the same time. What a weird feeling to have. My endo saw a tumor on the left side and my neurosurgeon saw one he thought on the right. It was very confusing but  I was finally diagnosed in the beginning of July 2014 and had my surgery scheduled three weeks later in Houston at MD Anderson.

Once I was ready for surgery it could not come fast enough. I wanted to get rid of the tumor and was hopeful to get back to a normal life. By the time my surgery rolled around from the first time I even learned about Cushings my muscle wasting had me only able to lift about 10 pounds. I still wasn't sleeping. I was angry at nights and had so much anxiety that my foot would tap tap tap all the time. I was bruising if someone touched me hard or bumped me and most of all I was depressed because I felt as if my family would do better without me there. I am a mom of four teenagers.....it was hard when I couldn't do things for them. And I felt bad that my husband was really picking up the slack. I didn't even feel like ME anymore:( I wanted ME back. I wanted to ride my horse, shoot my bow, cook dinner and be able to move the pot of spaghetti etc. BUT NOW I HAD THE CHANCE!!

July 25th 2015 I had my surgery.   I was ready to jump up on the table to have my brain tumor removed. I had a calm that day and was prepared for it. My husband by my side and I waved at him and said "see you on the remission side". When out of surgery we were told that they had found TWO tumors that were connected underneath the pituitary and he felt they had gotten everything out. I was relieved.....

On our next blog is the video of a day before to 2 weeks after slideshow of pictures of my surgery. I am now 2.5 months post op and in remission! I take it day by day because recovery is hard and I have to remember that I am not going to be ME in one day! But glimpses of ME are coming more and more! I feel happier, I have lost 23 pounds, I am sleeping every night and all night long, I am not bruising, my brain fog is so much better and I am happy to be on the flip side~! I am still getting better day by day! 

Please feel free to email me at anytime at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com or I have a Facebook group called "cushings!!" that you can join for more information and of course check out Vans other blog onedelicateheart.blogspot.com