No sleep to SO much sleep

As many of you know who have followed my journey I have had Cushings about four plus years. When I look back at say four years ago...I would sleep good, maybe even great for three weeks out of the month. Then I wouldn't sleep well for about a week. This would go on and off for years. I just thought It was because I tend to over think things. WHAT??? a Cushie overthink something? NEVER! See I have noticed that in a lot of the Cushies I have talked to over the year I have been really online talking to my new friends that so many of us worry more than most.....even obsess.

Even our puppy slept all the time

Overtime I started to have shorter cycles and would sleep great for two weeks and then not sleep for two weeks. Just always chalked it up to having things on my mind or things going on in my life. Really that was true though. I would notice that a troubled time (something small like how am I going to get two kids to two games at the same time but other end of town) would keep me up like what I thought a "normal" person would do because they were just over-thinking something. I figured out later looking back though that it really was the stress of something that would push me to be more in a high state (cortisol). Sleep aids didn't work, natural or pharmaceutical. I tried counting sheep,

Plenty of sheep to count at our house

I tried taking hot baths and having decaf hot tea before bed. I tried so many things. Sleep just wouldn't come. I still had to function the next day with my kids and get them to where they needed to be and do what I needed to do. Even work. 

By the last couple months before my surgery however....I had more sleepless nights than nights that I would sleep. I think I had about 3 weeks of only sleeping 2 hours a night. I would be so frustrated. I would search to the end of the internet and back. Finally some nights my legs would be so antsy or I would look at my husband snoring and want to scream (ha) that I would just get out of bed and go clean or something.

Hubby going to sleep. Comfy bed why couldn't I sleep?

I couldn't wait for the one week that I would sleep. I know that depression and anxiety are a huge part of cushings. I thought though how could anyone not be tired, cranky or anxious when they only had 8 hours a sleep in the whole week. I had to keep functioning though for my kids, my husband and for me really. 

Then I had surgery July 2014 and WHAM! I COULD sleep!!! Amazing deep sleep!!!!! I EVEN dreamt! VIVID crazy cool dreams. I hadn't dreamt in so long because I never had a deep enough sleep! I am blessed to be able to sleep. I want to sleep all night and day if I could. Of course I don't. I probably go to bed around 10 or 11 just because I want a little quiet time once the kids are in bed to relax. I get up at 6am to get the kids up and get them out the door. If I don't have something to do that morning though....I go back to sleep till about 930. If I wasn't busy I probably could even take a nap each day. Its a rare occurrence though but when I get to its sooooooo nice. 

I often wonder when I will be able to be normal again. Not too much sleep or not enough sleep. I kinda feel like Goldie Locks trying out the beds. This one is too hard. This one is too soft. This one is JUST right! :) I just have to continue to feel blessed that I am on the uphill side of things. I AM sleeping and CAN sleep and I will always remember that feeling when I couldn't. I have to continue to remember I am in recovery and to not feel bad when I want to sleep. Often I get phone calls in the morning. I am awake but I don't think my brain is yet lol. I always pray I don't sound grouchy or like I just woke up when I didn't. I am just hoping that my friends and family understand. I am still recovering.......and one day I will sleep like a normal person.....whatever that maybe! :) 

Please feel free to email me anytime at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com
I also have a Facebook group called "Cushings!!" 
And always check out my co bloggers blog at onedelicateheart.blogspot.com

Night all......going to sleep :)