My Rare Disease, My Story

Novartis.com

 

Oh where do I begin? Let’s start with when I didn’t know what Cushing’s was. Let's back track to the beginning.

The day I got diagnosed was my sixth time to the doctors office for bronchitis that year; it was my second time with walking pneumonia. I went in and cried to my doctor that I was barely eating, gaining weight, I was only sleeping two hours per night, my body always hurt, I had bruising all the time and swore that I was going crazy, had depression or was a hypochondriac. He looked at me and said, “You have Cushing’s I bet.” I thought "Is this man crazy? What is Cushing’s?" He examined me as this was the first time I had seen him. He looked at my neck and said that I had a buffalo hump, saw red and white stretch marks on my stomach. He reviewed my food log and saw I was only eating 1600 calories per day and had gained eighty pounds in a year and half and was still gaining.

I had a hysterectomy three years prior and felt like I had hormone imbalances ever since. Actually, I felt like I had those even before that. I always thought  the loss of muscle, the bruising, and weight gain was all because of that. It was from the hormones but not from that. I went to doctor after  doctor after doctor and they said my estrogen and testosterone was fine. Sometimes they would give me a pill for depression or more estrogen to cure my hot flashes and other symptoms. The depression pills never worked for me. I went to a doctor that gave me more estrogen and had their clinical psychologist call me to see if I wanted “had bruising, cried a lot, was 37 and must have a bad home life.” That made me SO mad! I wasn’t having a bad home life at all. I left that clinic and went to another one because of that. It was meant to be because that’s when I found Dr. Edmonds,my primary care physician, the one that said I probably had Cushing’s.

​After Dr. Edmonds said I needed to test, he set me up for two tests: an 8 a.m. cortisol blood draw and a dexamethasone test. One came back positive but the other was negative. Then my doctor thought maybe I didn't have Cushing's. By this time, I had looked up everything I could on Cushing’s and started researching everywhere I could. I found some videos on Youtube, a couple of websites, blogs and Facebook groups on Cushing’s. I researched Cushing’s specialists and decided to go to, in my opinion, the top endocrinologist at the time, Dr. Theodore Friedman (or "Dr. F., as we call him). He listened to me. I tested A LOT! I even tested wrong at first, by testing when I felt bad instead of testing when I felt better (on a high). At first, some of my tests came back normal because I cycled from high cortisol to low. After learning more and getting help from other Cushies by figuring out when to test, my tests came back high, high and high. I went in for a MRI (you should always get a T3 MRI) and they saw something that COULD be a tumor. I was scared and relieved at the same time. What a weird feeling to have. My endo saw a tumor on the left side and my neurologist saw one on the right. It was very confusing but I was finally diagnosed in the beginning of July 2014 and had my surgery scheduled three weeks later in Houston, Texas at MD Anderson, even though I live in California.

Once I was ready for surgery, it couldn’t come fast enough. I wanted to get rid of the tumor and get back to a normal life. By the time my surgery rolled around, my muscle wasting had me only able to lift about 10 pounds. I still wasn’t sleeping. I was angry at nights and had so much anxiety that my foot was tap, tap, tapping all the time. I bruised if someone touched me hard or bumped me. I was depressed because I felt like my family would do better without me around. I am a mother of four teenagers.  It was hard because I wanted to do so much for them. I felt bad that my husband was picking up the slack. I wanted ME back! I wanted to ride my horse, shoot my bow, cook dinner and be able to move the pot of spaghetti etc. NOW I HAD THE CHANCE!

July 25th,2014, I had my surgery. I wanted to jump up on the table to have my brain tumor removed. I had a calm that day and was prepared for it. My husband was by my side and I waved at him and said “See you on the remission side.” When out of surgery, we were told that they had found TWO tumors on my pituitary that were connected underneath. They felt they had gotten it all out. I was relieved.

It's now seven months after my surgery. I am starting to  lose weight.  I am sleeping every night all night long. My hair is growing back. I am not bruising. I can think again and don’t have brain fog all the time. I feel more like ME again. Every single symptom has reversed or is getting better. I can lift 55 pounds now! That a lot considering I could only lift 10. My friends, family and especially children see the differences and all for the good. I take it day by day because recovery is hard and I have to remember I am not going to be ME all in one day. I have more and more glimpses, though, of the old me. I am happier. I am happy to see the flip side.

I have really tried to become an advocate for Cushing’s. I have started a Facebook group called “ Cushing’s!!” that has over 800 members and is all about Cushing’s support. My friend Van and I started a blog together, www.2cushiegirls.blogspot.com. My good friend Rachel and I have worked hard on a website called www.Cushingstories.com. Its a place to go to see other patients stories. Not only is it their story but we have patient videos (in their own words) and tons of Blogs. We want to let people know there are others out there and have it all on one site. The stories of all of us. It’s why I decided from the beginning to YouTube my journey because that was the first place I looked for others like me. I cried on my first video. I almost didn’t post it. I decided that if I can help one person that it was worth the humility of it all.

 

 

There is a lot of information out there. www.Cushingstories.com is a AMAZING site. Also www.Cushings-help.org. My personal favorites are these blogs because they are real....and you really can see the journey of the person!

 

Living with Cushing's Disease is one of my personal favorites. Its written by a good friend of mine who is also the Co-Founder of Cushingstories.com. She is someone who is amazing at keeping it real and positive. She has had her struggles but has been in remission now for years! Check out her blog https://cushieworld.wordpress.com/

 

Moxie has an amazing site that is chalked full of information!!! She is an amazing lady who will always be there for you to answer questions. Please check out her site at http://www.cushingsmoxie.blogspot.com/

 

Then there is my good friend Nicci who is very real, raw and doesn't hold back what she is thinking or feeling. You should check her out at http://cushiequeen.blogspot.com/

 

I hope now you know a little bit more about my disease and have an understanding of what my family and I have gone through. Each day is amazingly better! As you can see on my blog that I am living and we are having fun! Just thought I would tell you my story!

Bless all of you. Thank you for reading my story. Please feel free to write me anytime. I always answer.  Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com.

Cushingstories.com Thunderclap Campaign

https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/21819-misunderstood-and-misdiagnosed/embed

Please go support this campaign by Cushingstories.com to increase Cushing's awareness.  Once we get 100 supporters (by February 22, 2015), our campaign will be forwarded to celebrity Thunderclappers to pick causes they care about and tweet to their followers. Its free and easy as just clicking a button. I can see who has followed it so please let me see your smiling face!

Thanks for your help!

NEW CUSHINGS WEBSITE

I would like to tell you all about the new Cushing's Website. It was made by a good friend of mine Rachel Wilson and I. When I first found out about Cushing's I didn't know where to look for Videos, Blogs and Stories of others. This website has it all!!!! It just got launched today after 4 months of working on it! Please share with others......you never know who it will help out!

www.cushingstories.com

Thank you to all of you who submitted stories, videos or your blogs to help others. Without you we couldn't of done this!

Love, Rae

A week from hell? Or was it?

Understanding Cushings by #Novartis

I have had a week of craziness. One of scary AI events to one of victory and fun and happiness. I guess that is a Recovering Cushies life. I have good days and I have bad days. I guess I will start from exactly 7 days ago. Just to give you an idea of my week

Monday-I woke up with my throat killing me for the second day. Made an appt to go see the Dr but that never even came. See when you have a fever, or are in pain, or have a sickness after having pituitary surgery you have to stress dose. Before surgery my tumor would create me to have excess cortisol. After my surgery and now that the tumor is out I am retraining my body to produce its own cortisol therefor I take it in the pill form. When you are sick your body eats up the cortisol or sometimes its hard to even keep it in your body because of vomiting, diarrhea etc...   This was me. I couldn't keep my medicine down. I started to vomit, already had a fever, my throat was killing me, started to get really confused and my hands and arms felt like they weren't working. My husband thankfully was there, gave me my 100 mg emergency Solu-Coref shot and we went into the ER midday. Once at the ER my blood pressure was sky high which is usually abnormal for someone who is going through Adrenal Insufficiency but I am one of those rare ppl who it shoots sky high and then plummets fast. That's how I knew something was wrong besides that I was loosing my thought process and my arm functions. My blood pressure has been normal since surgery but that day it was 194/133 and my heart was racing. Thankfully the ER doctor got ahold of my Endo and he said yes Blood Pressure can go high and to treat her. I had my emergency letter so they gave me another 100mg of Solu-coref, 2 bags of IV fluids, tested me for strept (I was positive), gave me pain meds and then tested my electrolytes and salt levels. Once I was feeling better and stable they let me go home with a prescription of Penicillin.

Tuesday-Woke up still feeling bad. Went by Dr orders and tripled my cortisol intake for the day to be able to keep enough in me since my body still had temp. Took my antibiotics by mouth. Stayed in bed all day. Got up just to go to the bathroom. Fever finally broke that night.

Wednesday- I woke up on the third day and my throat was killing me. Hurt to swallow but forced fluids down. Took my antibiotics and my cortisol as instructed by the Dr. Was not feeling well. Felt overly tired and felt as if I was getting low again. Stress dosed again. Started getting nauseous and then couldn't keep anything down. No fluids, no medicine.....started to once again go into Adrenal Insufficiency by not being able to lift my arms well or keep any meds down. Started to want to just sleep, sleep, sleep. Husband once again gave me shot and took me into the ER. This time they knew I was coming and had everything set up for me. Got another 100mg Solu-coref. Iv bags of fluids, Pain medication for my head from my blood pressure that was once again sky high on the way to the ER and then plummeted by the time I got there. We live 45 minutes from nearest hospital. THIS TIME though they gave me a shot in the rear-end of Penicillin since I had not been able to keep my meds down. I got replacement fluids and was released to go home 5 hours later.

Thurday- Decision day....I woke up and my throat felt better. I still sounded horrible but I could swallow and I felt so much better. I didn't leave my bed much though because I had a big decision to make. Two of my four kids were having a Championships game in Football. Not only was it important to not one BUT Two of my kids but it was the first time they had been to Championships since 2003. This was a big deal to them. I had been to every one of their home games and went to their playoffs and didn't want to miss their championship game. I still didn't feel well enough to even think of going yet but I would really think about it. By Friday, if I felt better then I was going to go. I decided that we would just stay in a hotel that night so I could go to the hotel and rest before and after the game. I didn't want to play with fire but I didn't want to not be there for my kids. Its a fine line. To me I felt like this is something they would always remember though. I knew if I felt better the next day I would be going.

Friday- Game day! I was feeling a lot better. Still not perfect but I decided I was going to be at the game. Told my boys I would see them later that day. We took the 2 hour drive and checked into the hotel. Made some posters, got new rain jackets and even bought a couple new winter clothes for the game. It was sprinkling when we left. Once at the game I kept having friends and family watch out for me. I couldn't scream (didn't have enough of a voice) but I clapped and cheered. The smiles on my boys face was unforgettable. They were excited, pumped up and happy we were there. That night it rained a lot and I knew that me being there probably wasn't the best decision in the world. I wouldn't of asked or even told anyone else to do what I did.....but for me....and my life....it was what I wanted to do. I know this is going to sound dumb to some but I don't want to live my life with regrets. My mother died at 55 years old from cancer and the one thing she said to me was to LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.....so for ME this is what I was doing. I am proud to say that my boys and their whole awesome Cardinals team WON!!!! It was such a big celebration and to see them jumping up and down screaming was awesome! Even better was when both teams came together and prayed. It was a site to see. I am so glad that I went. I knew I would have to take it easy for the next few days as I was still recovering but it was worth it to see my sons faces on this day in their lives that they will not forget.

My boys so proud of them

Bundled up

They won!

Saturday-Monday... We slept in and decided to stay a couple days at the hotel. It would be a time for shopping, movies, going to Turtle Bay Museum and Toytopia. I am thankful I have the husband that I do. I went out when they went to eat and went to a movie or two in the next few days. The rest of the time I was back at the hotel resting or sleeping as my family went shopping, swam at the hotel, got haircuts, went to the bird house etc.3/4 of the time I was in the hotel resting. I am a lucky gal. I didn't get sick after and I am continuing to get better. I know in the future I will definitely have to remember to watch it when I get sick. I will have to make sure that I rest and recover. I am not saying I would want anyone to do what I did. It was just the right decision for me and my family. I have no regrets for this week. It started off pretty scary and I am really new at this (being only 3.5 months post op) but I am learning along the way. I am also so thankful for all my friends, family and Cushing support who tell me how they feel. Are honest with me and yet not mean. Who help me to learn as I am going also. I want to say thank you for that awesome support.

Now this coming week....Thanksgiving.....

Gross Pics....the ugly disease....But this is ME.

Cushings.....the ugly disease:( Okay first off I would like to say I have heard this so many times and I have to disagree! This is not the ugly disease. Actually would make me mad or sad when I heard this. This is a hard enough disease of which so many ppl have a hard time getting diagnosed. I am going to really expose myself in this blog with pictures that I am not proud of and never thought I would put out there for anyone or everyone to see. BUT I am going to because I want to show some of the signs and symptoms of what could happen and what did happen to me. First off I would like to say "I AM NOT UGLY....and none of what is happening to me or has happened to my body is because I wanted it."

hot spots that just appeared

My buffalo hump that grew

round moon face

bad stretch marks just appeared from thin skin and discolored skin

bruising for no reason

belly large and bloated day of surgery

one month after surgery...going down but so many stretch marks

I would show more pictures of some of the changes that happened to my body in the last couple years from cushings. But now in remission and 3 months post op you can start to see the changes for the better. The reason I decided to show the world these pictures is I am hoping someone can relate and go in and see their doctor. I am now 3 months post op and already on the mend. In remission for the time being and things are getting better again. My body is going back to normal. Will all the stretch marks ever go away ? Probably not. But it will be my badge of courage that will remind me how I fought to get to where I am now. Each day I am getting better. Each day I will continue to retrain my mind to tell myself again how beautiful I am. That the disease is not going to define me or who I am. I am not just beautiful on the inside but the outside too. I will show off who I am and not hide from the world. Its not something everyone can do but I plan on working on it daily.......

You are all beautiful! This disease is not going to define who you are as a person. No matter what remember that I am here for you too. I understand even if its just a little. God does not make trash. I had to tell myself that a lot. He just doesnt! We are of his image...and God is not trash:) He is wonderful, beautiful just like you! This is me slowly getting back to what I looked like before.....but what I have gone through has made me stronger.....wanting to help others so they don't have to suffer as much.

my youngest son and I at onset of cushings

Year before cushings and before I cut off my hair

i will get back to this. Cushings took it from me but I will get it back

After my kids were all born

It took time to get diagnosed and it will take time to heal. I have to give myself that time. Here I am 3 months post op......

If you ever want to talk please feel free to email me at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com or come visit our Facebook Group called "cushings!!" I will always respond to you! Hope this was somewhat helpful even if to show you that you are not alone.

A shot in my butt....Adrenal insufficiency is no joke!

Happy Halloween....my first real Adrenal Insufficiency day:( But I learned a lot, let me tell you.

How did it start you might ask? Well I am three months post op and went in to get my blood draws to find out how my cortisol levels were to see if I am still in remission. To do that you have to NOT take your cortisol for 24 hours. Somewhere in my head I thought it was 48 hours. Its not! I have now learned.

So I withheld my cortisol for two days. Went in and got 8 vials of blood draw to check cortisol, Acth, Growth Hormone, Vit D, Thyroid etc... I knew that I would be taking my cortisol right after my blood draw, which I did. While I was there though I was asked if I wanted a flu shot. I thought of course. So I got one of those too.

Four hours later I am feeling really achy. Like I am low but I just assume its the flu shot because sometimes it can give you flu like symptoms. One more hour later and I just am really tired and not feeling well so I go to bed really early.

I wake up in the middle of the night and vomit. I am thinking "seriously I shouldn't of taken the flu shot". What I didn't realize was I was going into Adrenal Insufficiency. I was aching so bad I could barely lift my arms. I was so sick to my stomach. I would take my cortisol and it would come straight back up. I took more to try and keep it down with an anti nauseous pill. Finally my husband realized I was going into Adrenal Insufficiency and said its not the flu. I was getting to the point where I was so confused. I couldn't barely keep my eyes open. Thought I was sleeping 2 hours and he said it was 10 minutes. All I wanted to do was fall into a sleep.  I kept saying stuff I just would never say. I couldn't even open the bathroom door because my hands hurt. We emailed my Endo and he got back to me right away! So great to have a awesome Cushings Endocrinologist who emailed me back on his day off. He said take my sol-coruf shot right now and then 30 mg orally after. Then double my regular dose for three days and take it easy. My husband got straight to grabbing my emergency shot and put it in my thigh/butt area. Within 30 minutes I was starting to feel clearer. My arms started being able to move. I wasn't feeling so tired. But I wasn't all better. So I took the 30mg orally and started to feel better. Most ppl would have to go to the hospital for hydration and also another 100mg. So if this happens to you I would recommend going in. We live so far away I just went off what my Dr said to me. Each case is different though so please go to the hospital.

It was a scary moment for us. We live 45 minutes from the nearest hospital and I am so thankful that I had the shot here in my house. I have heard so many horror stories about this. People going into comas or even dying because they didnt get the shot or get to the hospital. This is no joke!

 Now its the next day and I feel like I have the worst hangover ever. I feel my head throbbing and kinda still a little nauseous but doing WAY better. I do notice also that I am feeling more stressed. I am sure that has to do with all the cortisol running through me. The shot is 100mg. I take 7.5 now a day. So I will be taking it WAY easy to get my body back to normal. I am also taking double my regular dose for three days like my Dr told me too.

So what is the moral of this story? Adrenal Insufficiency is no joke. Don't take it lightly. Look for the signs and symptoms of it and take action. I am lucky. I could of slipped into a coma or not gotten to the hospital in time or not had the shot with me. I am lucky I had my husband there because I started to get really confused. Many ppl are alone and we need to really figure out what are symptoms are. I learned you only do not take your med ONE day before your blood draw not two. Do Not take flu shot when you are withholding cortisol from your body. If you are thinking you need the shot....take it. Don't wait. Too much cortisol wont hurt you but not enough will post op.

Look at some of the signs and symptoms of Adrenal Insufficiency to be able to pay attention to your own body more. Its important. Yesterday I was lucky in so many ways. I want you to really pay attention. I know I will be:)

If you want to contact me please feel free to email me at Cushingscountrygirl@gmail.com or I have a facebook group called "Cushings!!" I will always respond back as soon as I can.

Going to leave you with some pictures of my kids....they still had their Halloween and Football Game with the help of my friends and husband! Thank you so much!!!

my daughter as Jack Skeleton

My youngest as Nypd

Great Tackle from my oldest

My two sons won their football game!

Tapering Steroids = SLOWLY...My Dog Has Diabetes

Hi guys Van here, I wanted to just give a little update on my status. So Weaning off the steroids is a pretty challenging job. Post surgery I was on 30mg and at first I was scared to take the hydrocortisone because after being inflicted with Cushing's, who would ever want to take more steroids? Curious to see if I really needed the steroids, I decided to jump from 30mg to 10mg and in two days I thought I was dying. Well, I learned the hard way like most cushies who are impatient and stubborn that without taking the correct dosage, you will feel like shit. So I would talk to other cushies and see that slow is the way to go when it comes to weaning. I decided every month to go down 2mg and it was working fine until I reached 15mg. I have been on 15mg for about 5 months and it was so hard for me to wean any lower. I would get nauseous, faint, and blue in the face. I felt like crying every minute of my day. My stomache turns inside out and my body starts to tremble and shudder like it's involuntarily crying.

 I get mad sometimes that it's been a year and my remaining adrenal gland has not started waking up yet. I notice that it seems to take longer for the younger cushies to wean and recover, that is strange since we are younger and we seem to bounce back faster. But from experience, most of the patients I talk to, I notice that the younger ones always take over a year to fully recover. So I must take that into consideration and not blame myself for my slow weaning. I also read in most blogs and patient stories that they try to do very small increments and taper slowly since it feels better.  I still don't know how some women can wean off after just 6 months or so but more power to ya! Ever since the trip to New Jersey I decided to taper a bit more. So I tried 12mg every other day and 15 mg ever other day. So far it was okay. I would say I have mild nausea and sometimes feel sick to my stomach but I have not have any trembling and fainting. After two weeks I decided to try 12mg everyday and now my nausea has increased and my head feels heavy. I do notice I am sleeping for longer periods of time but my sleep cycle is still messed up. Oh yeah I finally got a period!! After 3 months of my period disappearing again, that makes me so happy! A good plus is that I notice my chin is looking more defined the more I wean and I see my face looking more lifted. My mom told me the other day that I look younger like I was back in highschool YAY! I still don't feel young inside but it's good to hear from someone who knows how I use to look like to compliment me.

My period app taken a few weeks ago :)

 The other day I forgot my pills at home when I went out so I found some rogue pills in my bag that added up to 10mg. I took it anyway but like clock work the next two days, I felt so crappy. So, I think I will stay on 12mg for another few weeks then I will try the 12/10mg alternation. Slow is the way to go guys! Everybody is different, and eventually you will wean off fully. But do what makes you feel like you can to function daily so you can atleast enjoy your recovery and not be miserable during your adrenal insufficiency period.

So Rae told me she has diabetes insipidus, which is a condition which causes excessive thirst and urination due to hormone and kidney production problems. I immediately recognize this condition because sadly, my dog named Vankey a little corgi-jack has the same problem. He was diagnosed 5 years ago and at first we noticed all he did was drink his little doggie water bowl until it was gone then he would pee all over the carpet even though he was potty trained, he just couldn't hold it in. Once he peed everything out, he would start drinking more water until he was bloated like a balloon and urinate again. It was so sad because when I withheld water from him, he would whimper and shake and when I gave him water, he looked like he was about to burst. At first we didn't know what to do with him and thought he was just thirsty but we took him to the vet and the vet could not figure out what was wrong with him. After a few weeks we took him to another vet and described his symptoms and the vet immediately diagnosed him with DI. He then gave us some eyedrops to give to Vankey every day for the rest of his life. It's kind of crazy to think that my puppy and I got sick around the same time. And the amazing thing is that he was extra supportive and loving when I was sick. He usually has no energy and keeps to himself but whenever I felt sick, he would always be at my side. How strange that Cushing's is common in dogs and so is diabetes insipidus but we cushies may have to deal with the two. I know another cushie friend of mine who was diagnosed with DI a few months ago too. But to think that animals suffer as much as we do when they get sick, yet are so strong makes me feel inspired of their strength and capacity to love.

Anytime you need a friend Rae, Vankey is here >.^

Early Cushings and DI

We get eachother <3